Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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