The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
