this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
