i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
