OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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