It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
