I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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