if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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