i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize