Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
