I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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