i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
