You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
foreskin is a definite game changer
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
