Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
