i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
