if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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