you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
