Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
