At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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