Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
