I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
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I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
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I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.