we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.