I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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