Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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