Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Randomize
