White coat. Heels.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize