Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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