If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
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Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
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I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
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