i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I touched a dick in church today
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
