Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
