We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
