escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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