so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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