I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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