Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
