am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
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I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
