Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
