She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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