Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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