so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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