You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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