It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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