i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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