After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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