hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
