at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the day after is always just damage control
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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