you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
