wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize