guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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