mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
