so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
