no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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