Betty ford says i'm here all night
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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