I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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