quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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