Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
