There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
